I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
