He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
