apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
