remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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