You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
