What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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