I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
