your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
