I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
