I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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