I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
