Whod you bang
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
