He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
