Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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