The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
