Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
