Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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