Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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