Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
