it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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