I have demons in me.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
