There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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