do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize