and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize