He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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