When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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