i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Randomize
