what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize