The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
