I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize