I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
