I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Let's get the cat blown out
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize