She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize