he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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