Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
