Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
