YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize