so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
