Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
