I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I have already put on my inside pants.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
