as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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