i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
