Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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