dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
