I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
