I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
