I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
