and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I need to align my fucking chakras
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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