Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
