Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
