WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
