Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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