I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
