Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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