you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
