I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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