I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
whose parrot is this?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize