Cold hands, warm shart.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
