Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
