somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
