I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize