I am puke
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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