I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
