woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize