i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
