Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
