Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
