carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize