her vagine was all disorganized.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
