Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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