My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
