Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize