We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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